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"Ah, les voyageurs, short on height but legendarliy long on suffering and strength.  What of those happy-go-lucky little gnomes chanson-ing across the country, paddling 60 strokes a minute and tumping two 40-kilogram packs across freshly chewed goat paths, their bowels pushing through rotting abdominal walls.  Behind their cheerfully coloured ceinture flechee, how tough were they, really?"

"And then there's the food.  No matter how you serve it, a steady diet of pea soup or berries and fat mixed around ground hair and animal parts is going to cause a deadly combination of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane and hydorgen sulfide.  My research suggests that, on average, a regular diet produces about half a litre of gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts..."

Read the full Small Miracles article in the Summer/Fall 2010 issue of Canoeroots.  You can also check out almost 10 years of Canoeroots Magazine in our Digital Archives!